confession

girl: "i once thought about us y'know"
boy:"then..."
girl:"and all those silly plans i made in my head."
boy:"such as"
girl:"u being the one and only"
boy:"ic"
girl:"i think it is not right"
boy:"what's not right?"
girl:"those silly thoughts"
boy:"still dont get it?"
girl:"yah itu.. sometimes a girl got this dream. silly dream actually"
boy:"hmnn...i dont think so"
girl:"what you don't think so?"
boys:"silly. cause sometimes i also did that kind of thing."

Gue enggak suka mengakuinya, tapi pengakuan bisa menyembuhkan hati. Melupakan segala perih. Membuka jalan ke arah yang lebih baik. Walau harus terluka saat menunjukkan sisi paling lemah. Gue masih percaya percaya...bahwa pada saatnya...akan segera berlalu...

damn, i miss him

Ada satu tanda "mati" yang menandakan kita lagi kangen banget sama seseorang.

Yaitu ketika kita bangun, membuka mata dan berkata, "How is he/she doing now?" And that's exactly what happened to me this morning....

Jadi pertanyaannya, di saat kita begitu ingin meresapi eksistensi seseorang, respon2 apa yang akan muncul? Haaah, personally, these are 5 things I ussually do when I really miss someone.

1. Tiba-tiba menelepon dia. Hanya untuk mendengar suaranya, tawanya dan helaan napasnya.

2. Menulis surat buat dia. Menumpahkan segala perasaan, agoni dan keinginan. Walau surat itu pada akhirnya enggak pernah gue kirimkan.

3. Mendengarkan lagu2 bernuansa kerinduan...(ceilee...) If you can't overcome it, enjoy it. My soundtrack for the longing soul are I Miss You (Aaliyah), Split Screen Sadness (John Mayer), Officially Missing You (Tamia) and 4 Seasons of Loneliness (Boyz II Men).

4. Go out and have fun with my best friends. What a good way for coping, huh? :P

5. Tidur. Dan berharap gue bisa melihat, ketemu dan berbicara dengannya dalam mimpi. Itu sudah cukup kok buat gue.

Hoaahm...jadi pengin tidur lagi niy... :)

burning

my everlasting fire...
no wonder I easily got cold nowadays...

bought usher's album
got obsessed with burn

I need to get burn
really do..

hmmpff...

.....sebuah jiwa lebih menanti adamu daripada udara.....

overweight, sick and a talk

it's like the weight of the world is on my shoulder.
oh well, yesterday was...exhausting. Many interesting personalities. Performance gw dah lebih baik daripada minggu lalu :P Dan gw sudah terbiasa dengan keletihannya. Rapat sampai jam setengah dua pagi, terus bangun jam 5.20 pagi. Pheeww... gw berharap gak sampai segitunya pas bulan Juli.

oh yah, something sickening happend. Yuck... I really hate it.
Dooouuuh...I want to throw him a bucket full of dirty water and said, "I DO NOT NEED YOU SO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!" MY GOD! It's my fault too, I know that. But now, I just want to get up and go forward. While he's kind of acted as if he's kind of superstar or something...GET A LIFE PUHLEASE!!

Anyway, today was nice. I chat with one of my very best friend in England. Memuntahkan segala perasaan hati. Bercerita soal kejijikan (and yeah, we both got sick about it too). Berkisah tentang "kejutan", tentang how they caught me off guard (gw beneran gak nyangka). And another thing, I realize how much I wanted to just talk...
Mencari celah di antara himpitan-himpitan rutinitas. Rasionalisasi dari sebuah perasaan. Bantahan atas imaji-imaji paling liar.
Yeah, it's good to just dream. In my bed...

zie